nekofreak

i saw muppets having sex on stage!! o.O or rather i should say i saw avenue q ^______^ it was playing in this itty bitty playhouse out in the middle of nowhere ^^; apparently this is the first time the license has been released for someone other than the original tour to perform it. they did such a good job, i really really loved it ^_^

on friday i went to a members only event at the moma with tree~ ^_^ it was the opening of a new collection including some andy worhol stuff. it was pretty neat even if i don't know much art history after like the renaissance or somewhere ;p but i still love art even if i don't know about it ^_^ after that we went to downtown berkeley and had supper nummy pizza with arrugala on it ^^

today i'm super excited because i got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many errands done! several of which were little things i had been putting off for ages and ages >.>;; but i crossed off my whole list, made another and crossed that off too! o.o so productive *squee~!*

...the hyperness may also be due to the sherbert i ate just a while ago ;p hmm lets see other things.. i had my last visit with my therapist last week. she said we could go one more if i felt like it was too sudden of an end but i thought we were ok. i am looking into group therapy now and hoping to get a call back from a lady tomorrow about it. my therapist brought up that this last meeting was only our 5th and i was like you lie! but then i thought about it and it was true o.o; so much has happened that it seems like a long time, but really only six months ago i was a weeping sobbing ball of emotional train wreck >.>; that's not to say i'm suddenly cured but WOW so many good changes made so far and i really do feel better. i still have a mile long list of things i need to work on and whatnot but i know now that eventually things will get better and i can maybe figure out what i want to do with my life now that i have it back ^_^

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i know i say this all the time, but where does time go! i always mean to make a post and then suddenly it's been 3 weeks >.o

so here we go~ fanime was lots of fun ^_^ i got sunburnt on my shoulders D: didn't buy too much but that is ok ^^ skrit got me a pretty prussia <3 and there was durarara cosplay that made me happy~ also there was good card captor sakura cosplay ^_^ (pics later)

the next weekend i had dinner in japantown with tree after work on friday and we talked and talked and then were amazed that a) it was 10 o'clock and b) the restaurant didn't kick us out after 4 hours ^^;; i also met up with her on sunday so she could hang out outside of her appt that had paint fumes. we got some nice food and vitamin D (mm sunshine~) and she let me borrow vasalord 3 <3 then we got gelato and mine was earl gray tea and it was SO GOOD!

last weekend i flew down to socal for my cousin's graduation and to see the family. wow my niece and nephew are SO BIG. josie is just the cutest thing ever and the are both giant bundles of energy (2 years and 4 and half years old) it was very good to see everyone and i also managed to get in a little shopping (the only thing i miss about suburbia~) yay new stuff ^^;

also last week was my last depression class. while i'm glad my monday's won't be so exhausting anymore i will really miss some of the people from that class. we all connected well and got along well. i see my therapist this week though and we had been talking about finding me a place for group therapy, so hopefully she will have the info on that. it does me a lot of good to be in a group, to see that other people have the same or similar problems and that i'm not unusual or alone in the way i feel. also a group is good as it keeps me feeling more accountable. i can already feel myself kind of slipping back into my bad habits and becoming frustrated again :(

but enough on that~ look i made a post! i'm so proud of me ;p also where the hell is the next ep of durarara??!?! how dare they leave me hanging like that! uraboku too D: they're out to get me :p

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for better or worse i just sent an email that i wish i had known i wanted to write 8 or 9 years ago. please hope for me that it will turn out well because if not i don't know how i'm going to deal with that

[edit] received and understood. maybe just maybe now i can finally resolve some things and move forward. i have hope ^_^

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therapy

an eventful week this week ^^ the depression group is going well, i met some very nice ladies last week who were kind and insightful. it felt really good to talk to people and have them understand and know they were experiencing something similar.

my tuseday night camera club is going well, everyone is very friendly and i feel i'm learning things from the critiques that happen at least twice a month. they have awesome special speakers too ^^ one of these days i'm going to go through my pics and actually submit something for the compititions ^^;

wed i collapsed as i was le TIRED ;p thursday i walked up the steepest fking hill i've ever been on >.o and didn't know i was going to be, so that was tiring ^^; but the reason i went up that hill was that liz's friend cat had invited liz and i to dinner since she lived in sf and we work in sf ^_^ cat's bf charlie was there also. i really enjoyed my evening and they are very fun people to hang out with ^_^

friday i finally got to see peter pan 360 play which i've been waiting and waiting for~ (got the ticket like 2 months ago ;p) it was pretty good and i had a great seat, though there really didn't seem to be a bad seat in the place.

saturday i went to the sf zoo because i wanted to go one more time since my membership will be expiring at the end of this month. am not renewing, i just don't think it's that nice of a zoo and not worth it. i spent the evening in downtown sf, had dinner and then saw kick ass. it was pretty good but stupid people ruined the ending for me and sadly i remember that too much right now to comment on the movie D: i also got some amazing tea at this awesome place called lupicia <3 i'm looking forward to it ^^ today i did laundry with skrit then we went to an outlet mall and i got new shoes~ ^_^

the end *snugs flist* ^^

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: lord of the rings

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buh as always, where does the time go~??

zomg i am so full of foods. went to a brunch party at liz & kate's today. so.much.food x.x but it was fun time as always, i love their friends ^_^ was sad that sierra wasn't there though~ but there was much noms and awesome convo ^^

yesterday was tons and tons of errand running and i saw alice in wonderland. it was ok, not awful not wonderful. i don't know if it was the theater or what but i could barely understand what the hatter was saying ;_; i'll have to see if on video so i can caption if needed >.o

um what else.. monday i started a 6 week class about depression at the same place i see my therapist (who i still love <3) tuesday is my camera club and we had a famous wildlife photographer come and talk about her work. that was pretty cool ^^ um.. started a book about changing depression / anxiety thinking through cognative thought change rather than drugs. it's very interesting and useful. i am learning lots of things from it and hopefully some ways to change my own sometimes crazy thought patterns.

work is blah, nothing too awful but i still want to strangle my co-workers most of the time. i've not been sleeping well lately and feel generally exhuasted and tired. just in general feeling a little frayed at the edges as it were. a full night's sleep with no interruptions would be most most welcome >.>;; in that vein i'm going to try and go to sleep at a good time and not too late, though dunno if that will help ^^;; *snugs flist*

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: norah jones

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in other news of things going on~ i made a *successful* meal on saturday night. (as opposed to the cilantro pesto disaster) i got some personal sized foccacia pizza shells, pesto, marinated artichoke hears, and tofu to make pizzas for me and skrit ^^ they turned out really super yummy! (i did get a little help from cooking teacher!skrit though ^_~)

i'm also finally starting to make some headway in the neko vs crap in her room war ;p bought some pic sleeves so i could finally put up the pics i bought at AOD in january. also sold some books i had laying around and did not want any more, which almost paid for the book i bought at the same store ^^; they don't buy back for much but it's ok as i just wanted them gone. finished the song of ice and fire books... next one NOW please mr martin! started the er *looks* sword of truth books by terry goodkind. tim gave me those quite a while ago, fairly interesting so far ^^

now on to the therapy stuff which i want to talk about before i forget. two weeks ago i went to a free class "depression overview" which was really good for me. i had some very wrong impressions on depression in general due to lame media i am surrounded by D: it really helped me see the ways in which i was being affected and didn't know it. i can see now where it got bad and really started affecting my life, 10 or so years ago. i feel a little mad that i was robbed of so much time and never understood why, but i'm trying not to focus on that but on the fact that i can change it and im damn well going to *determined fist* i've also signed up for a 6 week class that goes much more in depth about depression but that doesn't start til late april.

last week i had my second appt with my therapist. that went pretty well and i feel possitive about the things we are reviewing and talking about. i also feel very upset because in talking to her i realized i have erased most of my childhood up through high school from my mind. she asks me so many questions that i just don't have answers to because other than the fact i can remember something happened, i have no details or impressions of anything at that time. it's like reading a history book xx happened on this date in time with no details. i know part of the problem is i programmed my self to just not think about things because that made it easier to cope with situations, but now i really regret that and am afraid it's going to be very difficult to change the habit. but i'm still hopeful in general because i have decided to make a change and so i am going to. i put my foot down and i'm sticking to it ;p

hah i suddenly have a lot to say don't i? sorry for the long posts <3!

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: oren lavie

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cooking,
therapy

er it's been longer than i thought since i last posted ^^; how time does fly~

well then let me start with the exciting stuff ^^ i *finally* got my tax return on friday and it was more than i was expecting! *happy dance~* i'm mostly spending it on practical things this year but i'm excited about those practical things ;p and the first thing i bought was a ticket to 360 peter pan, am very excited about that even though i have to wait until may to see it ^^ there are also a few other things coming up that i am excited about. the sf flower & garden show is the last weekend of this month. then there is wondercon in april and fanime at the end of may~! so many things to look forward to ^_^

other exciting things~ i got a new hat when pondy, j, and i went to the berkeley hat shop er 2 weeks ago? it is cute ^^ they also got very nifty hats as well. and last sunday pondy, one of her coworkers, and i went to the white elephant sale put on by the oakland museum. that was pretty darn nifty. i only got a small pot and a coaster i am using as a flower base, but it was still lots of fun. pondy made out pretty well with her stuff ^^ lets see what else.. oh yea last week got four itty bitty adorable succulent plants. i need to take pics of their adorableness ^^

in other good news i get a big ol honking gold star for standing up to my boss. long story short she sent me an email with instructions to "take care" of something. i did and then a few minutes later get a nasty phone call from her literally barking at me that why didnt i do it a different way then she said something like "i should have know it would be like this" and slammed down the phone. yes this is how she talks to me sometimes D: and of course being talked to in this matter sets off every anxity trigger as well as guilt of disappointing an authority figure. so after attempting to calm myself down i emailed her and said i am not ok with being talked to like that and that her instructions did not state she wanted me to do what she had said on the phone later. for those of you who don't know me well this is a BIG DEAL that i stood up for myself. i told my therapist about it on thursday and she was so excited for me because she recognized what a big step it was ^^; by-the-by therapy is going well. i will make a separate post about that later.

so yea i'm alive and things are looking up~ i am so excited about the garden show i can't wait two more weeks D: i am such a plant nerd, you people have no idea ^^;;;; *loves on flist* <3!!

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Current Music: owl city

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long post is long ^^;;

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